G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra

Directors: Stephen Sommers
Writers: Stuart Beattie/David Elliot/Paul Lovett/Michael B. Gordon
Based on the comic books by: Larry Hama 
Producers: Lorenzo di Bonaventura/Bob Ducsay/Brian Goldner 
Starring: Channing Tatum/Sienna Miller/Christopher Eccleston/Marlon Wayans
Year: 2009
Country: US
BBFC Certification:
Duration: 118 minutes

The amount of disappointing movies that have come out in 2009 is seriously unbelievable and this is definitely in the top five worst movies of 2009 and even possibly the worst movie ever! I can’t exactly make out what it’s about but basically it’s another good-guy-fights-bad-guy movie…G.I. Joe (or the Joes) are a group of elite specialists who have to stop evil arms dealer Destro and the strange Cobra organisation from destroying the world by using the latest spy technology and military equipment. The story is seriously thin and unbelievably weak, it’s hard to believe someone actually gave permission for this movie to be released, it felt way too rushed. The acting was just terrible and the performances from almost all of the actors were like puppets, sure there was movement but where is the emotion? Channing Tatum was the worst in this case. The people who brought you Transformers decided to revive this and bring it to life…if there was any sign of life in it…at least Transformers had the leading male who could show emotion. The cast was just a joke when it come to acting, although the action scenes were pretty good to watch.

The characters in the movie were seriously stupid and didn’t even know it and was therefore instantly dislikeable. The ‘jokes’ weren’t funny in the slightest as they tried way too hard to make it a funny, action movie. The only good thing about the movie, the only shining light in this dull movie I could see, was Sienna Miller as Ana. Sienna Miller was absolutely wasted on this movie but not even she could save this movie…if I can even call it a movie. Kids who are five to ten years old might find this entertaining with the action scenes but for anyone older, they could possibly find it boring.

I don’t want to waste no more time in reviewing this sorry movie as it insults my senses and the thought of ever watching it again makes me cringe. And to think…they could be releasing a SEQUEL!? Think of the children…WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!



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