Friday the 13th [2009]

friday-13-poster-1Director: Marcus Nispel 
Writer: Damien Shannon/Mark Swift/Mark Wheaton
Producers: Michael Bay/Andrew Form/Brad Fuller 
Starring: Jared Padalecki/Danielle Panabaker/Aaron Yoo/Amanda Righetti
Year: 2009
Country: US
BBFC Certification: 18
Duration: 97 minutes

Camp Crystal Lake has a bad history. A history drenched in blood. For over 20 years no-one has disturbed its deathly silence… until now. Friday The 13th is one of those worthless remakes involving cliché moments that happen  way too often and offers nothing new for the horror genre. Unlike the luckless teenagers who go to Camp Crystal Lake, it will live forever as the most shocking film of its kind. Friday the 13th is a victim of the remake treatment but is it different to the others or does it belong six feet under? Basically, it should be buried six feet under, set alight and poured over with concrete so nobody could EVER try to watch this movie again. From start to finish, it was boring and terrible. Everything about Friday the 13th reeks of horror movie clichés. Dumb, horny, weed-obsessed teenagers run helplessly in circles as a killer chases them and, even though there’s an obvious way to get away from the killer, they don’t use it and go the opposite way which makes you frustrated at them.

The story is terrible and has been done before a hundred times but never has it been done so plainly and so stupidly. The acting was something you’d expect from a homemade horror movie, the characters were very poorly written and could have been done a lot better. The writing was dire, the direction was horrible and it was just not entertaining overall. I’ve never seen any of the other Friday the 13th movies before except for Jason X which I didn’t like but I kept an open mind when watching this movie and I felt the same feelings that I had with Jason X, everything was just off and it was just pointless. There was absolutely no need for Hollywood to revive and remake Jason, they should have left him alone and let him rest in piece.

It’s completely pointless and irrelevant, the writing was unbelievably weak and everything wasn’t entertaining at all, it was just boring on so many levels. The characters were very poorly written and completely one-dimensional and bland. All they cared about was nothing but sex, alcohol and drugs and there was one or two characters that didn’t but they didn’t stand out enough for you to notice them. I thought that the Halloween remakes won the crown for Most Pointless Movie but I think Friday the 13th is a true competitor for it. Completely pointless and daft, Friday the 13th is truly one of the worst horror movies I have ever seen since Cut.

1/10

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